My journey to a healthier me

Tales of my life

Mother’s Day

on May 10, 2015

I both love and hate Mother’s Day.

I think moms are awesome. They are very hard working and do way more than sometimes we know.

Moms love us without question. Moms love us unconditionally. Moms love us at our best and our worst.

Moms want the best for us. Moms want us to be happy.

Moms teach us things we need to know, even if we don’t realize it.

Moms aren’t just moms. They are teachers, chefs, seamstresses, coaches, judges, mediators, counsellors, advocates, protectors, friends, and so much more. And that’s just at home.

If we are lucky, we are mothered by more than just our moms. We are mothered by our grandmothers, aunts, cousins, and friends.

I’m not a mom. Except to 3 cats.

I know a lot of great moms. I’m often in awe of them. They are all such strong women. I’m envious sometimes.

The best mom I’ve ever known is my mom. She was a great mom.  Although I admit that I didn’t always appreciate her as I was growing up. I didn’t realize that until I was older. I hope she knew just how much I loved her then and still love her now.  And how much I miss her.

And this is why I hate Mother’s Day.

Because she’s gone.

She died 4 years ago. This is my third Mother’s Day without her.

I still find myself wanting to pick up the phone and talk to her. And it hurts so much more when it dawns on me that I can’t.

I think about her almost daily.

I try to remember things she did or said.

I reflect on things she taught me or tried to. I didn’t always want to learn. Sometimes I wish I had paid more attention back then.

I try to remember her mannerisms, her laughter, the sparkle in her eyes.

I often see things that remind me of her. Sometimes it makes me smile; sometimes it breaks my heart; sometimes both.

I love my mom very much. Always have. Always will.

And even though she’s no longer on this earth, I hope she knows that. And I hope she’s proud of the person I have become.

And to all my mom friends out there, know that you are doing a great job. You may not think so, but trust me, you are. You are loved and appreciated more than you may know. And by more than just your children.

Happy Mother’s Day to my mom.

And to all mothers everywhere.

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