My journey to a healthier me

Tales of my life

Biggest fears

on February 26, 2013

I’m a fairly recent fan of the show The Biggest Loser. The current season is only the second full season I’ve watched, although I’ve seen a tiny bit of a couple of other seasons. Anyway, this week’s episode was about facing your fears. I thought it was a really good episode since I have issues with that myself. Each contestant must face and conquer something that terrifies them. I don’t know if I could have done as well as they did. But the episode did get me to think about what some of my biggest fears are.

I’ve written about fears before. But really I just scratched the surface. Maybe I wasn’t ready to face them then. I’m not sure I’m really ready now, but I’m going to write about them anyway.

So what am I afraid of?

I’m afraid of failing. I think that has to number one. I’m afraid that even with all my hard work, I will fail in my journey to be a healthier person.

I’m afraid of falling back into old habits. For years, decades really, I lived an unhealthy life. I ate poorly and spend an insane amount of time sitting on the couch, watching television. I don’t even know how I called that “living”. And now that I’m working on correcting that, I’m worried that I will go back to my old ways.

I’m afraid of disappointing my supporters. I have a lot of people cheering me on and I would hate to do something to make them disappointed in me. I don’t want them to think I’m giving up on myself. I don’t want them to give up on me.

I’m afraid of having to do this all on my own – I’m afraid of losing Tyler. We’ve been working together almost a year now, and in that time I’ve made huge strides. I’ve done things I’d never thought I’d be able to do, or at least not this soon. I’m leaps and bounds ahead of where I thought I’d be on my own. I got really lucky when I found him. He’s taught me so much. I know that it’s me doing the work, but he’s right there helping me, lending me some confidence when I can’t find my own, and believing in me like no one ever has before.

So if I’m afraid of all these things, how do I keep going? How do I get out of bed each day and head to the gym? How do I continue to make healthy food choices? How do I not give up?

I try to remember that every little bit counts.
I try to remember to strive for progress, not perfection.
I try to remember that I’m not perfect and that’s okay.
I try to remember that it’s okay to have a bad day now and then.
I try not to let my fears rule my life.

And when I do fall, I get back up, dust myself off, and try again.
And if I can’t, I have a lot of people around me who will help me up.


2 responses to “Biggest fears

  1. I need to get you a NO FEAR shirt lol (is that company even still in business???) Love the last part of this entry – I need to remember those things too. Hugs darling!

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