My journey to a healthier me

Tales of my life

Struggling with food

on December 27, 2012

I love food. Always have. My mom was a great cook, so I learned to love food early. And I learned to use food as a comfort. Now I’m learning to look at food differently. But it’s a struggle sometimes. There are things I crave, but I know they aren’t good for me. Like sweets, especially chocolate. I know it’s better to eat clean. I know I should eat more fruits and vegetables and lean proteins. I know I should stay away from processed foods, too much sugar, and too much fat. But just because I know these things, doesn’t mean it’s easy to do them. I often struggle with food. Not every day. But often enough. Since I began my journey 3 years ago, I’ve tried hard to change my eating habits. I started out slow, changing a little at a time. I knew that if I tried to change too much at once, there was a good chance the changes wouldn’t stick. I started by cutting back on sodas and processed foods. I moved on to cutting back on sweets. I tried to incorporate more fruits and veggies as well. I think I did pretty good for the most part. Especially since I was new to it and just winging it. When I joined the gym this year and began seriously working out, I knew I had to be more serious about my eating habits. I don’t like to call it a diet. Diets inevitably fail. This is a lifestyle change. Tyler had me start a food diary. You really pay more attention to what you eat when you have to write it down. After reviewing it, he helped me by showing ways to cut calories, fat, sugar, etc out of what I was eating. He gave me suggestions of better things to eat. Am I always good? Do I always follow the guidelines he gave me? No and no. I try hard though. But some days it’s a real struggle. Some days I crave certain foods, mostly sweets. I’ve given in a few times, and almost always have regretted it. As good as I want the treat to taste, it doesn’t seem to. I always feel guilty about giving in. I’m trying hard not to, but it’s not easy. I wonder if he is disappointed in me for giving in. I’m disappointed in me for giving in. Will I always have these struggles? I certainly hope not. I hope it will get easier to say no, to stick to my eating plan. Because I’m an emotional eater, I have often struggled with food. I think I’m getting better at not turning to food for comfort. It’s a slow process though, and sometimes I have to take it one day at a time, one meal at a time. But I’m getting there. And that’s a good thing. I just have to remember not to give up. And that I have a whole group of people supporting me. And if I slip a little, it’s not the end of the world. Just pick myself up, dust myself off, and keep going.

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