My journey to a healthier me

Tales of my life

Pangs of jealousy -or- I didn’t know I was so competitive

on December 16, 2012

I don’t consider myself a competitive person. Nor do I think I’m a jealous person. Or at least I never used to. But it seems lately that I am becoming one … when it comes to my workouts anyway. I noticed it the first time a few months ago, but didn’t really pay attention to it, thinking it was just a one-time thing. Being at the gym 5 days a week gives me a lot of time to see others working out, seeing what they are capable of. I see someone running, and I want to be able to do that. I see someone using the elliptical with ease and I want to be able to do that. I see someone holding a plank for a long time with relative ease, and I want to do that! If others can do it, why can’t I? I know I’ve come a very long way this year. And I try to remember that when my jealousy flares up. But sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes the pangs of jealousy are stronger than the voice in my head that says “you’ll get there”. I’m working on that though. Sometimes those pangs make me sad. That’s a little weird, isn’t it? I try not to let them get to me. I try to remember that I’m still learning. But sometimes it’s hard. And that’s where the competitiveness comes into play. It drives me to push myself farther than I’ve ever gone before. I want to lift more, do more reps, try a new level, do things I’ve never done before. But I have to be careful. I can’t let that side of me overrule my common sense. I have to be careful that I don’t push myself to the point of getting hurt. It’s a balancing act. And I’m learning.

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