My journey to a healthier me

Tales of my life

Out of the dark

on November 12, 2012

For the last few weeks, I’ve been in a dark place, a dark mood. I don’t know what triggered it (sometimes I know, sometimes I don’t), but I feel like I’m finally out of it.

Sometimes I can feel a dark mood coming on, but more often than not, I don’t see it until I’m well into it. It’s bad enough that I get into them, but what’s worse is I don’t know how to get out of them. Sometimes talking to friends helps, sometimes something really great happens and that pulls me put, sometimes they just end on their own.

This one is particular was tough. Everything felt like a struggle. Dan and I were fighting, which is very unusual for us. It took everything I had to get up each day and get to the gym. I felt like my workouts and cardio sessions were suffering too. I wasn’t sleeping well. The only positive thing is I managed to keep from diving into old eating habits.

I’ve said it before, I’m an emotional-eater and a stress-eater, so when I’m upset, I eat. At least I used to. And it was almost always junk food. Now that I’m eating healthier, and not eating junk food, what do I do when I get into a situation I would normal use food to deal with? Good question. Unfortunately, I don’t have a good answer … yet. What I do know is that I need to learn to deal with the feelings and emotions that come up. And let me tell you, it’s not so easy!!!

Thankfully, I have a lot of support. I have an ever-increasing network of family, friends, acquaintances, and well-wishers who always seem to be there when I need them, whether I know it or not. They help more than they may even realize. They listen to me whine and complain. They put up with my attitude. They deal with my tears. They offer advice. They offer a heart-warming story. They offer a much-needed hug. They are just there.

So now that I’m feeling better, feeling like I’m out of that dark place, I’d like to say something to those fabulous people. I want to say THANK YOU. Thank you for putting up with me, thank you for being there when I needed you, thank you for everything. And know that I’m here for you too. I will always be here if you need me. You are all very important people in my life. And I’m grateful for each and every one of you.


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