My journey to a healthier me

Tales of my life

Walls, walls, and more walls

on November 2, 2012

It seems like everywhere I look lately I see another wall. Some days I feel like I’m in a huge maze and every time I turn a corner, there is another wall. I turn around and go another way, and there’s another wall. It’s like a maze without an exit, just walls wherever I look. It’s fracking frustrating!!! And it’s like they just popped up out of nowhere. I thought things were going pretty well. I thought I was on track. I was feeling pretty good. And then WHAM! I’m stuck. And I don’t know how to get unstuck. I don’t know how I got stuck in the first place. I’m frustrated. And it’s affecting my workouts. I hate this. I want to break through the walls but I don’t know how. I don’t know what to do. I thought it would get easier as I move along in my journey, but that doesn’t seem the case. So what do I do? How do I get through it? How do I break the walls? I wish I knew. I really wish I knew. And sometimes I get scared. Scared that those supporting me are going to get tired of my whining, of my sour-puss attitude, and just give up on me. That’s always in the back of my mind. And I’d like to talk, hopefully figure out what’s bugging me, but I don’t want to be a pest. And I sometimes I feel like I’m being a pest. I hope they know I don’t mean to be. I hope they know I just need help. I’m sure they are frustrated with me. I’m frustrated with me. I just don’t want them to give up on me. I need them. I’m trying to break out of this. I’m trying to do better, be better. I really am trying. Just don’t give up on me.

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