My journey to a healthier me

Tales of my life

Believe

This post is inspired by a photo posted by my friend Joe. It’s a simple yet magical picture of a rock with the word BELIEVE carved into it. The photo was taken at sunset, and the way the colours are almost dancing is just amazing.
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Believe. It’s a simple yet powerful word.

With this one little word, you can change your way of thinking or you can change the world.

Sometimes you don’t realize what an impact that little word can have. Until it does.

When you believe in a cause, you can help change the world. When you put your heart and soul into it, you can bring attention to something that means a lot to you and maybe something that others may not know much about.

When you believe you are right, it can make for some interesting arguments. Think lawyers in a courtroom or politicians in a debate. Two people squaring off, making passionate speeches about why they are right and the other is wrong. Both sides believing with all that they have and all that they are.

When you believe in love, you believe in forever. When you find that person who complements you, your world becomes something new. It’s truly a remarkable thing.

When someone believes in you, it can make a huge difference. If you are someone like me, who grew up very shy and very reserved and very unsure, having someone say “I believe in you” is life-changing. Suddenly you’re doing things you didn’t know you could and thinking things you never thought you would. You feel like you are on top of the world. Having someone in your corner like that is almost indescribable. Everyone needs someone like that. Everyone deserves someone like that.

To go along with that and most importantly …

When you believe in yourself, the world and all your potential is at your disposal. This one is a tough one for me sometimes. I have not always believed in myself. When you are used to hearing people talk negatively about you, it’s hard to believe the good stuff. Especially if it has been drilled into you for years. But then someone comes along and shows you how good you are. And you start believing in yourself. And then amazing things happen. The more someone believes in you, the more you believe in yourself. The more you believe in yourself, the more confidence you have. The more confidence you have, the more unstoppable you are. It’s an amazing thing.

So BELIEVE.

Believe in love.
Believe in life.
Believe in a cause.
Believe you can change the world.
Believe in someone who needs help.
Believe in yourself.

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Giving thanks

It’s Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada. A time of year when families gather to break bread together and to give thanks for their many blessings. Most of my family is far away, but I’m always thinking of them. I have a pretty good life, so I have a lot to be thankful for. So in honour of Thanksgiving, I thought I’d make a list of some of the things I’m thankful for this year:

I’m thankful for my wonderful husband Dan. He’s the best thing to ever happened to me. His love and support mean the world to me.

I’m thankful for my health. I think I’m healthier now than I have been in a long time, maybe ever. Another year being cancer free, lower blood pressure, lower weight are just a few of the highlights.

I’m thankful for my family. Even though we live far apart and don’t get to see each other very much, I love them dearly.

I’m thankful for my friends. All of them. Those who live nearby and those who are spread out across many many miles. Those I’ve known for more years than I care to count and those who I’ve only known a short while. Those I know personally and those I only know online. Those I talk or text with regularly and those who I haven’t heard from in years.

I’m thankful for my cats. That might seem odd to some, but not to me. They are like my furry little kids. And as much as they drive me crazy sometimes, I can not imagine not having them around. No matter what, they love me. They are there when I need cheering up. They know how to make me smile.

I’m thankful for each and every day. Even if I’m having a bad day. Even if my muscles are sore from a tough workout. Even if nothing seems to be going the way I want it to. Every day is a gift and I’m thankful for them all.

So what about you? What are you thankful for?

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Some days I want to give up …

I still struggle. Not every day, but often enough. I think I’m doing pretty good and then WHAM there’s a wall. Sometimes the wall is easy to get over or around, but other times it’s not.

Sometimes the hardest part is getting out of bed. There are days when I wake up and think to myself “I could go back to sleep so easily” or “I could skip one day … one day won’t matter”.

Sometimes I have trouble getting my workout started. I stand there and stare at the treadmill, trying to will myself to start. Sometimes I step on the treadmill, but end up just standing there, wondering what is keeping me from getting started.

Sometimes I have trouble pushing myself. I try and try, but can only seem to go so far. It doesn’t seem to be a problem when I’m working with Ty, so I’m not sure why it’s sometimes a problem when I’m working by myself.

Sometimes I just want to give up. Sometimes I wonder why I’m putting myself through all this. When I’m having a bad day, I just want to throw in the towel and give up. When I’m having trouble with something Tyler wants me to do, I get frustrated and angry with myself. When I see the numbers on the scale aren’t moving or worse, going up, I want to cry and just give up. When something upsets me, I sometimes want to drown myself in a pint of ice cream.

So what do I do when this happens? Do I give up? Do I throw away all my hard work? Do I find that pint of ice cream?

No.

As hard as it is sometimes, I don’t give up.

I get up when my alarm goes off, get myself ready, and go to the gym.

I don’t listen to that voice in my head that says it’s okay to take the day off.

I force myself to step on that treadmill and press the start button.

When I get frustrated and angry with myself, I try to take a step back and breathe. I try to remember it’s okay, I don’t have to be perfect. And then I try again.

I’m not quite sure how to push myself farther, but I’m working on it.

When something gets me upset, I look for ways to deal with it, other than with food.

The point it is even though I want to give up, I don’t. As hard as it is some days, I still try my best. Even when it seems like I’m not making progress, I’m still out there.

Because one day, it won’t be so hard. One day, I won’t struggle to push myself. One day, I won’t struggle with the movements Ty shows me. One day, the scale will show the number I want it to.

And until then, I will continue to do my best. I will remember why I started this journey to begin with. When I’m having a bad day, I’ll remember it’s okay not to be perfect. And when I need help, I will remember I have great friends who are there when I need them, no matter what.

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