My journey to a healthier me

Tales of my life

Happy Birthday to me — Reflections on the past year

on September 9, 2012

It’s my favourite time of year — summer is coming to an end and fall is getting ready to start. This has always been my favourite time of year, even when I was in school. I love the crispness in the air, the apples that seem to be everywhere, the changing colors of the leaves. I love it all. Mainly I love this time of year because my birthday is in September. And who doesn’t love their birthday? Well for a while, I didn’t. Okay, that’s not true. I liked my birthday, but didn’t really enjoy it as I should have. I was always tired. Some years I was sick. I wasn’t always happy with myself. But regardless, I have always used this time of year to reflect. I would look at myself and what I’ve done over the last 12 months. Am I happy with what I did? Did I do anything extraordinary? Did I go anywhere exciting? Did I overcome anything? What was the best part of the year? What was the worst? What would I change if I could? Most importantly, I would think about what I’d like to see happen in the next year. Now a lot of people do this kind of thing at New Years or just before. I do that too, but for some reason I’ve always chosen to do it around my birthday as well.

So since my birthday is upon me, what do I think of the last year?

Well, I have to say I’m pretty damn happy with myself. Even though there have been a few downs this year, I’m happy to say there have been mostly ups. I’ve really amazed myself. And I’m pretty proud of myself.

And what did I do to be so proud? Well …

I joined a gym. (and then a second one when the first one closed)
I’ve been exercising regularly.
I’m eating better than I have in a very long time (maybe ever).
I participated in and finished my very first 5k walk.
I’ve lost quite a bit of weight. (actually I got rid of it … I have no intention of ever finding it again)
I walked a bridge that used to scare me to even drive over.

I think any of those would be something to be proud of, but all together, they are amazing!

Some other highlights of the year …

I made some wonderful new friends.
I once again found my passion for writing. (it wasn’t lost, it was just hiding)
I discovered a new genre of books to enjoy. (thank you, Tyler and Nick)

And probably most important, I’m discovering that I’m much stronger than I ever thought I was — both physically and mentally. Maybe it’s really true what they say, wisdom comes with age (hahaha).

Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I don’t recognize the person I see. I know it’s me, but I’ve changed so much that sometimes it startles me a little. And I’m not just talking about the physical changes, although that really amazes me too. I’m talking more about the inner changes. I had a hard time dealing with things when my mom died. I wasn’t sure how I would ever get through. But I did. And I think I’m so much stronger now. I’d like to think she is watching over me and is happy with what she sees. I think she would be proud of me. A lot of stuff has happened, not just in the last year but really in the last three years, but every bit of it has helped me become the person I am now and still becoming. I think back to who I was 5 years ago, 10 years, 20 years. I almost don’t recognize that person. I’m happier now at 42, then I think I was at half my age. The lessons I’ve learned this past year (and am still learning) are ones I wish I could have learned sooner. But then again, I’m not sure I would have been ready to learn earlier. Maybe I needed to grow up more, mature more, go through some hard times first before I was ready to learn them. And maybe that’s why I’ve been so successful this year on my journey to be healthier me. In the end, it doesn’t really matter. What matters is, I am succeeding. I’m becoming the healthy person I want to be.

So here’s to another great year. Hopefully a year filled with excitement, love, friendship, happiness, and joy. A year filled with more success in my journey. A year where I conquer more challenges. A year where I become even more of the person I always wanted to be.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

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