My journey to a healthier me

Tales of my life

Progress derailed …

on July 25, 2011

It’s been a bit since I posted anything. I’ve been meaning to post, but just hadn’t gotten around to it. Unfortunately, it’s not good news. My progress has been greatly derailed and I’m pretty upset about it. I started out really well, then life got in the way.

Last time I posted I was getting ready for the Relay For Life walk. It’s something I look forward to doing each year. The morning of the Relay, I got a call from my brother Jerry telling me that our mom had just died. I was devastated. It’s not the kind of call anyone wants to get. It made it very hard for me to get through the day. But I did. I still went to the Relay and supported my team. I didn’t do much walking though. I told a few people what happened and they were amazed I was even there. But I made a commitment to be there and so I was. And besides, she was living in St. Louis which is quite a distance away.

So that was the day that it seemed to fall apart. Since then, I haven’t really done much. I’m still trying to eat better, but I know I’ve been slipping. I’m an emotional eater and it’s very evident right now. Things just aren’t the same, and I’m not sure how to get back on track right now. It’s weird knowing that my mom isn’t around anymore, that I can’t pick up the phone and call her any time I want. I hadn’t talked to her much lately and I’m kicking myself for that now.

I had a followup appointment with my oncologist recently. They always weigh me when I get there. I was very disappointed to see the number had gone up since I was there last. Very discouraging. I think I might need help. My oncologist suggested talking to my regular doctor about it, which I think I will at my next appointment.

I’m still feeling derailed. I’m stuck and don’t know how to get unstuck … I hate this feeling …

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